what to say

it’s been one of those days where my thoughts have just been running, with so much on my mind it seems I can’t even focus on them all. I’ve been going back and forth on what to do to help sift through it all or more so, keep my mind off of it, but haven’t really figured anything out. Even as I sit here typing, knowing that it usually helps to write things out, I find myself at a loss for words.

It’s definitely been one of those days in which I wish I did have a TV, so I could just sit in front of it and not really have to think. I wanted to watch a DVD, but came to realize that I can’t insert it into my computer (so maybe more damage was done to my MAC from the drop than I thought).

I did spend a good portion of the day making cards. I made a few to send to some specific people, but then found myself unmotivated to actually write the messages for the inside, it’s hard to express words of sympathy.

So I just spent the rest of the time jotting down ideas and sketching out cards to make in the future, for more joyous occasions, I’m much better at that.

I did just spend a lot of time laying around.... replaying the song chasing cars by Snow Patrol in my head...

”if I lay here.... if I just lay here.... would you lie with me.... and just forget the world...”

wishing someone was here to lay with me..... as

"I don’t quiet know... how to say.... how I feel

....those three words are said too much.... but not enough..."

I will say though, that I agree with the second part of that phrase. if I came to one conclusion today, it’s that we can’t express those three little words enough. as we never know when will be the last time we may be able to hear someone say those words or express them ourselves.

so yes, I did make a few phone calls today. along with shed a few tears, and tried my best to spin my thoughts into a form of prayer.

Today’s gospel reading was the story of doubting Thomas, the apostle who didn’t believe until he was able to actually see the risen Christ.

After moments of loss, I just have to wonder, how some people can go on without believing. I know that believing in God and His heavenly kingdom gives me hope and reason to believe that we have something to live for.